WELCOME...
We always welcome the opportunity to dialogue with people wherever they may be and whatever their concerns are. As we listen to each other, as we “walk a mile” in someone else’s shoes, we can begin to understand and have compassion for the journey of another. Questions challenge us to take a deeper look at the issues that concern us. They can give us new insights, new learnings. We believe all questions are good questions and we look forward to hearing from you.

Barb & Gail

Responses to questions that are submitted are not intended as therapy or advice and are provided solely for educational and informational purposes only.
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(05/12/04-16:06)
From: Susan McCoy in Toronto, ON

Dear Authentic Lives,
What if I don’t like the true self I discover?		 Dear Susan McCoy,
That is probably one of the most common reasons used by the ego for not taking the time to discover the True Self, the authentic Self.

Each of us must take responsibility for discovering who we truly are. We are called to end the unconscious cycle of self-abuse, self-loathing and self-rejection that we have come to accept at a very early age. We have done this by accepting the negative core beliefs that we formed at an age when we had little information about who we are. Hence, we took on what others said about who we were.

Take the time to look at all of who we are, the good and the not so good. Debbie Ford in her book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, tells us that at birth we were all gifted with a castle of a thousand rooms. As we heard what important adults said about who we were (“you’re too loud”, “you’re stupid”, etc) we began to close and lock those rooms in our castle. Once upon a time, we played and made full use of our castle. Now we may find ourselves living in three out of those thousand rooms. Our castle has become a prison. It constricts us. To be truly authentic requires unlocking the doors to those rooms. Take a good look at what is inside, pull back the curtains, open the windows and let the light and air pour in. It is time to jettison what is not true about who we are and to begin to love ourselves with all our warts exposed.

The authentic Self is not just the wonderful things we like to believe we are. It also includes those pieces of ourselves that are not so wonderful. Taking an honest and loving look at who you are will allow you to love and accept yourself. The most lasting relationship you will ever have is with yourself. Take the time to get to know all of who you are, date yourself, fall in love and make love to yourself. Do “relationship” well with you and you can do relationship well with another.

Liking the self we discover comes as a result of learning to love and accept all of who we are.
(05/12/04-15:31)
From: Stephanie Needham in Toronto, ON

Dear Authentic Lives,
Can you comment on the concept of "the body speaks, what the mind cannot" and how it illustrates a spiritual calling or message?		 Dear Stephanie Needham,
We, in the West, live in a society that has elevated the mind from the body/mind/spirit continuum. It has been treated like some kind of god. We have forgotten that the mind is simply one member of a powerful triumvirate that works best in concert with the rest of the “team”. When all else fails, Spirit and the body collaborate to cause an awareness of an issue or issues being avoided, decisions not taken.

Caroline Myss spoke well of this concept in her book, Anatomy of the Spirit. This is what she meant when she said “your biography becomes your biography”. We are beings composed of energy; everything around us is composed of energy. Whatever we deny in ourselves disturbs our energy within. That energy will need a place to be heard and so it will chose a part of our bodies to make its point, to get our attention. It will disturb our energetic field more and more until we take the time to find out what is really going on. Our bodies can be an excellent source of information about what we are or are not doing, about who we are and who we are not being. If we take the time to listen, we can make the decisions necessary to heal ourselves.

Spirit is always in communication with us, reminding us to re-member who we really are and calling us to become more aligned with who we are as spiritual beings having a human experience. We all have a purpose for being here. We all have our assignments for making this planet more representative of a loving, compassionate God.

Spirit and our bodies are calling us to remember to include them in a conscious way of being. We are being asked to take the time to reflect, to take care of ourselves as divine instruments. When we live harmoniously in a holistic relationship with ourselves, we can access the wisdom of Spirit that has our highest good in mind and knows the divine purpose for our being on earth. What that means is giving equal respect to our mind, body and Spirit. When we value them equally and take the time to listen to them, they can be a great source of direct guidance that will keep us aligned with our purpose.

Ultimately, honour the voice of the Creator within by allowing the space for it to be heard and having the courage to act on its guidance.
(01/28/03-21:14)
From: T.Y. Chan in Toronto, ON

Dear Authentic Lives,
Dear Barb & Gail,I feel torn between who I am and the commandment to "honour thy father and mother." I can envision my father turning those words around to say that in choosing the lifestyle I lead, I am in fact dishonouring them. How else am I to interpret this commandment? Your input is greatly appreciated.Tak		 Dear T.Y. Chan,
Our apologies for the delay in responding.

To answer your question, we are here to be all that God created us to be. We each have a purpose to fulfill. Children are born into the care of their parents and for that they are due our respect. Jesus reminds us the only law we are called by God to follow is to love - love ourselves, others (including our enemies) and to above all love God. As the Torah says, the rest is commentary.

Our journey is one of remembering who we are as magnificent creations of Divine Energy.
Our commitment will be tested along the way. The journey of excavating your authentic self is challenging but so worthwhile. And in the process, you can still honour your Mother and Father without losing yourself.

Remember that you are never alone. Divine Energy is with you in every moment, guiding you to the Truth.
(01/05/03-20:21)
From: Joanne in Victoria, B.C.

Dear Authentic Lives,
Some days I wake up terrified with worry about money. How am I going to put food on the table, pay the rent, look after myself? I don't want to become a bag lady. What can I do?		 Dear Joanne,
As spiritual beings, as children of a loving God*, we have constant access to an immense storehouse of abundance. When we become fearful, we forget who we are, all that we have and the resources at our disposal. We fall into the trap of lack or scarcity thinking that can separate us from each other and the truth. An awareness of our scarcity mentality is important because we can then choose to do something about it. First, consciously build a solid spiritual foundation that supports you daily. That includes paying attention to the nutrition of your body (only the best for the best), the nutrition of your mind(new information changes old tapes), practice soft belly breathing (watch a child breathe), clarify your personal values (live them), have a daily spiritual practice (prayer, meditation, journalling, etc.), create a daily gratitude journal (be open to the presence of God* in your life)and connect to a spiritual community that can support and encourage you.
By shifting your focus, you can change your attitude and change your life. Be open to the abundance in your life right now, financial and otherwise.

*the God of your understanding
(11/09/02-15:13)
From: Ron in Halifax, N.S.

Dear Authentic Lives,
How can I learn to love and accept myself?		 Dear Ron,
Learning to love and accept yourself means taking the time to really get to know all of who you are. I like to refer to it as dating and getting to know yourself, falling in love and making love to yourself. That includes the “shadow” self - all those negative core beliefs that tell us that we are not lovable or worthy of love. These unconscious beliefs have limited our loving ourselves fully and from becoming more of who we really are. The more we can slow down, pay attention, the more we can take charge of our own lives. As we learn to love and accept ourselves and to love the God of our understanding, the more we can love and accept all of God’s creatures.